We’ve all worked with great employees who, for one reason or another, have one bad habit. You know, the Loud Talker, the Interrupter, the Always Late. Although a staff member may be exemplary in almost every way, a bad habit that negatively affects office culture should be addressed. But how should you go about discussing a bad habit without insulting an otherwise valuable employee?
“It’s important to be very delicate with it,” says Alycia Hall, a life coach in Vancouver, whose job requires her to call out individuals regarding behaviours that are keeping them from reaching their full potential. “It’s all about the delivery.”
Hall offers some advice to help you manage those difficult conversations with employees:
– Keep it private
Although you might have a great joke about tardiness that you think the whole office will appreciate, a facetious approach to an employee’s punctuality problem might only embarrass the employee. Instead, arrange a confidential meeting with the employee to discuss the issue.
Non-judgmental discretion is the best approach, Hall says: “You want to come from a supportive place.”
– “Sandwich” the tough stuff
It’s always best to start and end such a conversation by mentioning your staff member’s strengths, noting what he or she brings to the table.
If this person is a great employee, tell them why, says Hall: “Build them up.”
By framing the conversation in a positive manner, you’re going to inspire the person to feel challenged in a positive way rather than creating a defensive atmosphere.
“Remember,” Hall says, “you’re providing the feedback because it’s going to ‘up their game’.”
– Take an objective stance
You should try to be as neutral as possible, Hall says, because emotions and judgment will only muddy the waters. Although you may have had conversations with (and complaints from) colleagues about the matter in question, this is probably the first time the employee is hearing about it. So, it’s important that you don’t dwell too much on describing the issue; focus instead on how the behaviour can be improved upon.
“It’s a matter of tonality,” Hall says. “Keep it lighthearted and upbeat.”
– Share your own challenges
We all have been in situations, Hall says, in which we’ve had to adjust our habits in order to improve our work performance.
By sharing your own challenges – and how you dealt with them – you can motivate rather than deflate a team member.
– Avoid the “royal we”
It may be tempting to distance yourself from the issue by implying that there is agreement about the problem from a nameless “we” – as in: “We’ve noticed that you might be having difficulty with X.”
This approach can make it more likely that your employee will feel uncomfortable and that the conversation will turn sour.
“Nobody,” Hall says, “likes being talked about behind their back.”
There are exceptions: if this is a second or third meeting about the same unresolved issue, or if there is no way you could have noticed this habit yourself, be honest. Redirect any focus from the origin of the complaint, Hall says, and onto the impact of the habit itself.
Try phrasing an accusation into a question. For example: “Do you think arriving 15 minutes late to every meeting might be taking away from your stellar performance in other areas?”
– Collaborate
Offer to brainstorm ideas, Hall says, to help your employee tackle the habit and come up with a plan to follow up and track progress.
It’s also a good idea to offer a list of outside resources that might be helpful. The key is to inspire, not insult.
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