Working with couples as clients can be a challenge. Men and women have different communication styles and differing approaches to money. Financial advisors can easily fall into the trap of addressing primarily the man, because men have traditionally handled most investment decisions. Moreover, the financial services industry continues to be male-dominated.

But times have changed. Women now control most of the personal wealth in Canada and will inherit much of the inter-generational wealth that changes hands in the next couple of decades. Advisors must find ways to work with women effectively in order to retain their business.

The following are five common mistakes you should avoid when dealing with women in couples:

1. Not giving her equal time
Advisors tend to look at the man, talk directly to him and ignore the woman, says Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, principal of KBK Wealth Connection in Boston.

“Women’s biggest peeve is that advisors don’t listen to them and discount their input,” Kingsbury says. “That’s a huge mistake. They need to pay attention to both members of the couple and make sure they listen to the woman’s feedback as closely as the man’s.”

It may be appropriate to engage the woman separately, adds Eleanor Blayney, president of Directions for Women, a McLean, Va.-based firm that trains financial advisors to work with women. “Take her to lunch or hold women-only events. By making the effort to develop a relationship with her, you build trust and loyalty.”

2. Rushing her to make investment decisions
Women are turned off by aggressive sales techniques. They don’t like to be pushed to make decisions before they’re ready. And because women want to understand what they’re doing, they often have many questions about proposed investments.

“Some advisors wrongly think a woman is challenging their authority when she asks questions,” Kingsbury says. “In fact, women learn by talking to others. That means you need to allow for longer meetings with more talk and be willing to answer her questions patiently.”

3. Misinterpreting signals
Don’t read silence as a lack of interest, or interpret nodding as agreement, Blayney says.

“Nodding sometimes indicates that a woman is following the conversation, rather than agreeing with you,” she says. “If you’re not sure, check in with her to find out what she’s thinking and feeling about the information under discussion.”

4. Making gender-based assumptions
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that all women are alike. It’s true that women are generally less financially literate than men, but some women are very knowledgeable.
Determine how savvy your woman client is by asking her to rate her financial acumen on a scale from one to five. But remember that women tend to underestimate their abilities, while men typically overestimate theirs.
5. Talking down to her
Advisors often make the mistake of inadvertently taking a condescending tone when they’re trying to reassure women clients. As a result, Kingsbury says, these advisors alienate their clients.

“Women don’t want to be told not to worry their pretty little heads about money,” Kingsbury says. “They want information and advice from someone they trust so they can make informed decisions. And when they’re expressing concern about their finances, they want someone who will listen empathetically, not dismiss their worries.”